PATTAYA (YUCK) APRIL 3, 2012

April 3, 2012

With our extra day in Laem Chabang we decided to take the free Princess shuttle to Pattaya about one hour east on the coastline from the port. Pattaya was a sleepy fishing village before the Vietnam War. During the war Pattaya became a destination for R&R for the servicemen serving in Vietnam. It has beautiful unspoiled beaches and friendly people.

Our tablemates agreed to meet a 9AM to take the bus to Pattaya together where we were dropped off at The Siam Bayview Hotel where the main entrance was the parallel road behind the Beach Road. It appeared to be a very nice place. It appeared that all the hotels entrances were on this parallel road with a small entrance on Beach Road since that is where all the shops are.

We got to Pattaya about 10:15AM and we found out the shops do not open until 11AM since it is really a nighttime action type place. We walked on Thap Phraya Road towards Mike Shopping Mall. The sights on this road had lots of massage places such as Golden Finger Massage, Happy Finger Massage, lots of open front bars. There were metered taxis as well as trucks with wooden seats in the bed on both sides. Traffic moved slowly. There were shops, restaurants, stalls, mechanic shops, car dealers, tire shops, fancy gem places from the main port road all the way to Pattaya. West of Pattaya there is plenty of resort hotels on the beach. There were some nice places but a heck of a lot of yucky tacky places. The air was hot, sticky, smoggy and very smelly in Pattaya. Surprisingly the people in the shops were not very friendly like in Bangkok. In fact they seem to be bothered by the tourists though this is a tourist destination. It will not be for long based on what we saw.

We walked down an alley way towards the beach where there were scores of Tattoo Parlors who had pictures showing their “art.” One would be better to take hard drugs than to have any of these needles touch you. YUCK! No thanks! The beach was full of activity with so many parasails in the sky to our left. There were numerous large floating restaurants off shore. The beach did not appear to be clean and I would not recommend going in that water since the sewer smells were pungent and the open sewer drains ran up and down both sides of the road with open grates. YUCK! There were a few times that Joe and I had to cross the road since the smells got way too strong for us.

As our group waited for Mike’s to open, a “friendly” American who used to live in Jacksonville, Florida many years ago sat next to Joe and me. He has lived in Pattaya for nine years. YUCK! Before that, he lived the Costa Rica for a period of years, I asked him, “What was he hiding from?” “What was he running away from?” He says he goes to the pool on top of Mike Shopping Mall every other day to swim in its non-chlorinated pool on the top of the six story mall. YUCK! He was not the cleanest guy around. He whispered to Joe that the women of Pattaya know how to treat a man. Wink, wink. I do not think an average or below average woman in the USA would want to “bed” him. YUCK! He said Thailand was cheap and he liked it. He gave me the creeps and goose bumps.

The mall opened at 11AM sharp with all kinds of “ripped off name brand goods.” There are “designer” purses, clothes, watches, jewelry, shoes and perfume. You could tell that they were made cheaply.

Marg Forseth from Aberdeen, South Dakota was looking at some T-shirts at a stall and found three that she was interested in buying. She had pulled them out of the high stacks of T-shirts and asked the woman how much they were. The woman yelled at Marg, saying NO! NO! NO! She was yelling at Marg and Marg had no idea what was going on. She again asked how much they were. The woman screamed in Thai with a very angry face on her and shooed her away. Marg went around the corner to her husband, John. The woman followed her around the corner still yelling at Marg. Marg saw two young male sale clerks across the aisle and she asked them whether this woman wanted to sell anything. They just smirked and pushed up their shoulders. Marg told them if that woman was her employee that she would fire her. I guess she did not like Marg going through the t-shirts since she had folded them up so neatly though Marg did fold the ones she examined back up. Weird! All five floors of stalls people did not smile or invite you into their stores. Joe and I left the group and ventured on our own towards the Walking Street.

It appeared Joe was getting overly hot and sweating profusely since it was very hot and sticky even in the shade. You take the heat along with the nasty smells and the unfriendly store people; we decided to find refuge in the Pattaya Marriott Hotel though we knew the prices would be high but clean and no ugly smells. No thank you to the local food stalls with open cooking for us.

The Marriott was beautiful and people courteous. The grounds were gorgeous and the pool area very inviting with numerous whirlpools that jutted in rectangles opened to the pool with pool bars, nice cushioned pool chairs and shade with exotic birds chirping and quacking in the trees. We had a nice ala carte lunch in a wonderfully air conditioned restaurant inside the Marriott. I imagine Japanese and Australians are the big customers in Pattaya. Of course the nasty older bad shaped men looking for a paid date in an hourly room. If a prostitute was invited to a person’s hotel room the guest would have to pay an extra fee and the prostitute had to be gone by 5AM. There were plenty of older men with their “young Thai nieces.” YUCK. Also there were seedy places down several roads adjacent to Beach Road for men looking for men. We saw some really crazy names that left no room for guessing what was happening here.

After the nice Marriott lunch we walked about a half mile to The Walking Street. During the day this area is tame with cars being able to drive down it but at 8PM, it is close and the action happens. You can imagine. There were some day Thai prostitutes on the sidewalks and bars but none were smiling or attractive like you would think. I guess they look better at night.

Our big Pattaya purchase was two cokes at McDonalds where we forgot to tell them “no ice.” The water and ice in Thailand is not recommended to tourists. One need to stick to bottled water, no doubt! I did purchase one T-Shirt that said “I loved Pattaya Thailand.” I should not have bought it since I did not like Pattaya at all, neither did Joe!

It was 1:00 when we started walking back to the Siam Bayview Hotel since the buses supposedly left on the hour. I wanted to be on the 2:00 bus back to the ship. Joe had to go number 2 really bad but there was no decent place I wanted him to go into. YUCK!

He held it as long as he could till I found an upscale mall with real name brand merchandise along with the prices. They had bathrooms and the mall was very clean so I felt comfortable as I could be with him doing his business there. Poor guy was there for 15 minutes. It was 1:40PM when we left for the bus on the back parallel business street. We walked at a brisk pace to make sure we would make the bus. With the heat and sweat Joe could not take any more and negotiated with the truck “taxi” to take us to the hotel Siam for 150 Bhats which is about 5 US Dollars, 300 Bhats equal one dollar by the way. I tried to tell Joe that we were almost at the pickup point when he yelled angrily at me to get in. The driver started to go and our hotel was only 20 feet away from the time we got in the “taxi.” There was an air conditioned clean bus waiting for us and the bus left at 2:15 PM for the ship. It took nearly an hour and a half to get back since the traffic was thick and the stop lights long if there was one.

Thankfully we arrived at the port where I did some last minute shopping since it was clean in the building with no smells. It was worth the little extra one had to pay for the same stuff downtown. Joe stopped by a massage store right next to the security gate where other passengers were indulging in some last minute comforts. It cost Joe $20 for one hour foot massage. There was no “funny” business going on here since one could see into the place.

I could not imagine having sex with one of the prostitutes in Pattaya where she would take you to a short stay rooming hotel. I would want to have sex standing up and not touching anything in the room. My mind ravels what it must look like. NUTS to me! To each his own, having sex here is a dangerous sport.

The next day we tender in Ko Samui. I pray that it is nothing like Pattaya. Skip Pattaya! The Vietnam R & R pretty beach town has been destroyed. So you Vietnam Vets who may remember pretty Pattaya, it is only a memory.